Develop Your Charisma

Here are a few notes from the book ‘The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane.’  I recommend it to those who want to practice their leadership presence.  The author states ‘one CEO told me that ‘the most effective thing you can do for your career is to get comfortable being uncomfortable.’

1. It’s all about body language.  Change your energy and change your social impression.  We read each other unconsciously very very very fast – in as quick as seventeen milliseconds. In this quick moment, people have judged your social and economic level, your level of education, and even your level of success.  They have also decided your levels of intelligence, trustworthiness, competence, friendliness, and confidence.
2. Charismatic individuals choose specific behaviors that make others feel good about themselves.  They remember how it felt to be speaking with you.
3. Lower the intonation of your voice at the end of your sentences
4. Reduce how quickly and how often you nod
5. Pause for two full seconds before you speak
6. Train yourself to be less distracted.  You want to stay present with the person you are talking to.
7. Speak slowly.
8. We look for clues of power in someone’s appearance, in others’ reactions to a person, and most of all in a person’s body language.  We are biologically programmed to care about status.
9. Wear your best clothes – manage your brand.
10. Manage your life and your physical health, any distraction an impede your mental or physical performance.  Be more comfortable in your skin and clothes.
11. Anxiety is a serious drawback to charisma.
12. Anxiety can lower our confidence.
13. If the brain registers ambiguity (uncertainty), it flashes an error signal, which results in tension in the body (and others will pick up the feeling unconsciously or consciously).
14. Monitor your self-thinking.  Self-criticism and self-doubt  kill confidence.  Shame is toxic. Then we feel bad an feel bad about feeling bad.  Remember our brains are built to be negatively focused – too keep us avoiding danger (to keep us alive).  However, you must be mindful and know that not all thoughts are accurate or healthy. Neutralize negativity!
15. Remember that scowl on someone else’s face may have nothing to do with you.
16. Know that negative emotions take longer to exit the body.  When feeling a negative emotion, monitor your language at an even higher level.
17. Get comfortable in the room – the environment.
18. Keep a goodwill attitude:  feel love for everyone.
19. People tend to accept what you project ->  Project confidence.
20. Have a perfect handshake.
21. To start a conversation, compliment someone and then follow with ‘What this story behind it?”  Another ice breaker – Where are you from?  Ask open-ended questions.
22. Speak the brain’s language – visuals.