“Don’t tell me bad news; I don’t want to hear it.” Or “Are you kidding me? I have to tell you that?” Have these thoughts ever been in your mind? Generally, we dislike receiving bad news, and at times, we dislike giving it too. Why do we? The short answer is we want to avoid pain. Challenge is we have lots of news that needs to be delivered, especially in our new socially networked world. With the rise social engagement, business students need to advance their ability to give and receive (both positive and negative) feedback. We start with why we feel so uncomfortable.
How to Give Good Peer Feedback(2)
Why is feedback uncomfortable?
Feedback often scares us because our brain naturally thinks the information is potentially harmful and therefore we back-away or fight-back – for the brain’s base job is to keep us alive by constantly monitoring our environment to keep us safe. Additionally, in this heightened-awareness state, when the brain perceives uncertainty, it sends an alert signal to make us feel uncomfortable and perhaps prepare us for action.
Additionally, at our very core, we are socially dependent because no one person knows everything that he/she needs to know to live and grow in this world. Therefore our fear of feedback could be, at its core, a fear of exclusion, as exclusion is perceived as a threat to life and is felt as pain.
Strategies for Giving Peer Feedback on the Artifacts
Prepare your mind for delivering feedback by remembering that your intention is to give accurate and helpful information. Your job is to critique a product not a person, all the while remembering that a person is listening when you deliver the information. Here’s a short list of Do’s and Don’ts.
Do
- Tell the author what he/she did well, at least 3 points.
- Tell the author what he/she could do better, at least 3 points.
- Point to concrete examples of both – good and not-so-good.
- Consider using the ‘sandwich’ construction. First make a positive/neutral statement, place the bad news in the middle, and wrap up with positive/neutral comments.
- Read it over and revise for kindness.
Don’ts
- Don’t be so direct that you are rude or edgy.
- Don’t be vague thereby offering no helpful information. Saying “great essay” is not enough information.
- Don’t underestimate your contribution; you are educated.
Strategies for Receiving Peer Feedback
Before reading your peer’s feedback to you, as best you can, be rested, nourished, and in a positive frame-of-mind. Take stock of your emotional climate; if you feel tired or irritated from the day’s events, you can perceive the information with exaggerated negativity. Four additional cognitive-approach strategies are:
Separate the ‘what’ was said from ‘how’ it was stated. It could be that the negativity you feel is a reaction to the words used and not the content.
- Review for information that rings true for you.
- Review the feedback for duplicated information as it’s an improvement clue.
- Remember, it’s your decision which information you apply or release.
Above all, remember, we are practicing together.
Successful Business Communication 